| Name | Bigelow |
|---|---|
| Profession | Activist |
| Feature | Stumbles over words |
| Story | Shook the President's hand |
Generate celebrities
| Name | Waters |
|---|---|
| Profession | Actor |
| Feature | Vapid fool |
| Story | Always evading arrest for criminal ties |
| Name | Géroux |
|---|---|
| Profession | Musician |
| Feature | Strong nose |
| Story | Has a five-step plan for world peace |
| Name | Becker |
|---|---|
| Profession | Artist |
| Feature | Charitable |
| Story | Just officially sold out last week |
| Name | Yamadera |
|---|---|
| Profession | Artist |
| Feature | Controlling |
| Story | Gave a random civilian loads of money |